This is a re post of an article that I wrote for Girl Talk magazine a few years ago and I had posted it on my blog before. However since it corresponds with today's quote I thought I'd post it again.
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows …
India Arie
According to India Arie’s song, which I actually quite like, “ a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows…” Usually I would agree with the song but sometimes a lady is judged by what she wears and not what she knows. This was brought home to me quite forcefully when I was about 15 or 16 years old.
I was going to meet a friend and I was dressed quite nicely, or so I thought, in a new outfit, a short jeans skirt and leotard type top. However, before I was halfway to my destination I began getting whistles and very personal comments from men I passed. I had never received so much attention and I was NOT flattered. In fact I felt quite intimidated and self-conscious. I couldn’t figure out why I was attracting so much attention.
Before I reached my friend I met someone I knew who was a few years older than me. She looked at me and said, “Bernie, I’ve never seen you dressed like this before.” She didn’t say anything else concerning my clothes but that tipped me off to the fact that something was wrong big time.
By the time I reached my friend’s house all of the joy I had felt when I put on my new outfit was gone. Instead I felt self-conscious, and dare I say it… I felt less than a lady. Needless to say, I didn’t walk home from my friend’s house. In fact, I pretended to be cold and borrowed a big sweater. When I was ready to go home I got a ride. I couldn’t take the comments and attention a second time around.
After I got home I looked at myself in a full-length mirror. I wanted to see myself through the eyes of those who saw me in the outfit. You know what? In retrospect the skirt was shorter and tighter than I normally wore and the top was just a tad skimpy. Well that was the last time I wore that outfit and to this day I try to be careful of what I wear out in public because everyone who sees me will not get an opportunity to find out what I ‘know” so what they see is what they will judge me by. I’m sure I sometimes miss the fashion mark but then again who doesn’t…? However, I try not to wear clothes that would make me seem less than the lady I know I am.
Girl Talk Magazine
March/May 04
"We women must realize how visual men are, and because of that we should wear modest clothes. Not because we don't have the right to wear what we want, but for the benefit of the spiritual life of
our brothers in Christ."
~ Heather Arnel Paulsen ~
Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhoseMy mama said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows …
India Arie
According to India Arie’s song, which I actually quite like, “ a lady ain’t what she wears but what she knows…” Usually I would agree with the song but sometimes a lady is judged by what she wears and not what she knows. This was brought home to me quite forcefully when I was about 15 or 16 years old.
I was going to meet a friend and I was dressed quite nicely, or so I thought, in a new outfit, a short jeans skirt and leotard type top. However, before I was halfway to my destination I began getting whistles and very personal comments from men I passed. I had never received so much attention and I was NOT flattered. In fact I felt quite intimidated and self-conscious. I couldn’t figure out why I was attracting so much attention.
Before I reached my friend I met someone I knew who was a few years older than me. She looked at me and said, “Bernie, I’ve never seen you dressed like this before.” She didn’t say anything else concerning my clothes but that tipped me off to the fact that something was wrong big time.
By the time I reached my friend’s house all of the joy I had felt when I put on my new outfit was gone. Instead I felt self-conscious, and dare I say it… I felt less than a lady. Needless to say, I didn’t walk home from my friend’s house. In fact, I pretended to be cold and borrowed a big sweater. When I was ready to go home I got a ride. I couldn’t take the comments and attention a second time around.
After I got home I looked at myself in a full-length mirror. I wanted to see myself through the eyes of those who saw me in the outfit. You know what? In retrospect the skirt was shorter and tighter than I normally wore and the top was just a tad skimpy. Well that was the last time I wore that outfit and to this day I try to be careful of what I wear out in public because everyone who sees me will not get an opportunity to find out what I ‘know” so what they see is what they will judge me by. I’m sure I sometimes miss the fashion mark but then again who doesn’t…? However, I try not to wear clothes that would make me seem less than the lady I know I am.
Girl Talk Magazine
March/May 04
"We women must realize how visual men are, and because of that we should wear modest clothes. Not because we don't have the right to wear what we want, but for the benefit of the spiritual life of
our brothers in Christ."
~ Heather Arnel Paulsen ~
Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart
For more on this weeks IOW quote and an opportunity to win the book Emotional Purity visit Loni @ Joy in the Morning
5 comments:
Your honesty blows me away...thank you..I know that I have done that same thing unknowingly just to be 'in with the fashion.' Thankfully, I usually realize it, or am stopped by a preteen who is very candid about modesty AND the fashion police around these parts...'are you wearing THAT?' is the que to hightail it back to the closet and put whatever it is in a pile to charity..I have to tell you it isn't usually immodest, just hopelessly unfashionable...but there have been times!
thanks for joining today!
It was a blessing!
lori
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story! I so appreciate it!
If you'd like to be a part of the book drawing, don't forget to mention it on your blog within the next week. I think you will like it.
Your story is a powerful reminder that many girls who dress immodestly do so only because they don't understand the message they send ~ blessings to you!
Amen, thanks for sharing your story my friend.
Love your sharing. It's refreshing!
Thank you for visiting my blog.
Glad you are keeping it real over here. That matters.
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