Choosing Happiness

As the series showcasing Adrian Monk one of my favorite TV detectives comes to an end I thought it fitting to do a follow up article to one I wrote on Monk a few years ago entitled “Not Quite Perfect”.

“In the last episode I watched, Monk had an opportunity to take a test, which if he passed would help him get reinstated on the police force, something he wants more than anything. Unfortunately for Monk he did not pass the test...” GT Mar/May 04

Fast forward to present day. In the second to last episode Monk finally achieves his aim of getting back on the police force, but guess what, he is totally miserable. The thing he had been working towards for twelve years is now his and he is not happy.

In a scene that made me smile Monk said to his psychiatrist, “I was happy! Why didn’t you tell me I was happy?” This time Monk voluntarily quits the force and goes back to what he enjoyed; being a private detective. The reality of being back on the police force did not live up to the fantasy he had built up in his mind.

If you’ve been reading GT long enough I’m sure you know I found a lesson somewhere in that right?

The lesson…? People achieve a goal, and it is not always what they expect. The picture perfect situation they create in their mind is not the reality they find themselves in. This is because we get so caught up in dreaming about the destination that we forget to enjoy the journey.

Instead we often say,

‘When I get __________ I’ll be happy.”

“If I could just___________ I’ll be happy.”

“When I finish___________ I’ll be happy.”

However, like Monk we eventually realize that happiness is not a destination, a thing or a person it is a daily choice.

What do you choose?

GT Magazine Dec '09/Feb '10

Photo credit: Microsoft clipart

A Place for Me

“By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”~ Charles Spurgeon

“You made it!”
“ Congratulations!”
“Well done!”
“Good to see you!” “
Praise the Lord!”

I can imagine the excitement as the snail probably the last animal to arrive, made its way into the ark. The journey had been long and difficult. There were many obstacles to overcome along the way but finally tired, but excited, by perseverance the snail reached the ark.

The thought that came to my mind as I read the above quote was, a place for me. There were many animals on the ark, tall, short, beautiful, not so beautiful, fast, slow etc. The small, slow seemingly insignificant snail in today’s world may probably have been overlooked. However, there was a special place reserved on the ark just for that snail. The ark was not complete without the seemingly insignificant little snail.

We all feel insignificant sometimes especially around people who seem smarter, more talented, more beautiful or more creative than we are. However, just like there was a place on the ark for the snail there is a place for each of us. God gave each of us talents and special gifts and there is a place in this world for each of us to use them. However, like the snail we have to keep our goals in sight and persevere in spite of whatever obstacles we encounter along the way.

(Previously published on GT’s blog)

GT Magazine Dec '09/Feb '10

Letting Go, Holding On and Moving Forward

December 31, 2009, whew! Where did the year go? The last day of the year is always one of reflection for me. Won’t you join me, for an abbreviated journey? Okay, here we go…

Someone has said or done something, whether deliberately or unknowingly, to wound us this year. On this last day of the year let’s decide to let it go, even if they haven’t acknowledged it.

“…but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, 14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

We all probably entered this year with great expectations. Some of them came to past and some of them are still dreams waiting to be realized. Hold on to them… Let’s go into the New Year holding on to the thought that although our dreams may not be realized when we want them to, surely in God’s appointed time they shall come to past.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry. Habakkuk 2:3

At some point during this year we may have been less than Christ like and the enemy often tries to bring the memory of past failures to haunt us. However let’s remember the Apostle John’s words and move forward in our walk with God.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 1 John 2:1 (emphasis mine)

So as we enter 2010 let’s let go of the negative, hold on to positive and move forward into a brand new year with the expectation that the same God who kept us through 2009 will be with us through 2010.


Originally published in at Laced With Grace December 2007 edited for GT Magazine.

A Look Back

The Clock of Life
By Maudlin December

The clock marks the passing of time
As it flies like a bird through the air.
Turning seconds to minutes to days
To weeks to months and finally years.

From the minute we take our first breath
Withdrawal of time has begun
The account will remain active
Until our allotted time on Earth is done.

So we must use our time wisely
Add something to our credit each day
The years will come and go like the tide will flow
But we can only reap what we took time to sow

Grouchy Lainie

“Hey Lainie,” Dawn said cheerfully as she caught up with her best friend for their walk to school.

“What are you so happy about?” Elaine replied grumpily.

“Uh oh, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed,” Dawn teased. “Girl, it’s a New Year, in a few months we’ll be graduating, I thought you’d have a smile on your face every day until then.”

“I just didn’t feel like getting out of bed this morning. Do you know how cold it is? It’s inhumane to expect anyone to be out in this. Besides, what are you so happy about?”

“Nothing really, I’m just choosing to be thankful and happy.”

“Really?”

“Uh hmm, Last year I remember one of my “facebook friend’s” did a weekly Thankful Thursday list and tried to get everyone to join in. A lot of other people joined in every Thursday and listed what they were thankful for.”

“Did you?” Elaine asked.

“Nope, you know me, I hate making lists. But reading some of the lists other people wrote inspired me so much I decided this year I would like to try to focus more on the things I’m thankful for. So, I’m just practicing being thankful every day.”

“Sounds like a lot of work to me. What can you find to be thankful for every single day?” Elaine asked.

Sure seems like you can use that today,” Dawn teased. “I can think of ten things right off the top of my head Dawn said,” starting with my mom’s cancer being in remission, that fact that I have only a few months left in high school, my grades being good enough to make the honor roll…

“I guess I can probably think of a few things too Elaine said. But I still don’t feel like it.”
"How about we make a pact to help each other be more thankful this year?” Dawn suggested.

“Sure, I guess we can give it a try” Elaine answered.

“Whenever one of us forgets to be thankful the other says, T squared.”

“T squared?” Elaine said questioningly.

“Thankful Thursday or if it’s not Thursday, Thankful Today,” Dawn replied.

“I like that,” Elaine said, “sort of like a secret code.”

“Uh hmm,” Dawn said then continued, “Lainie…”

“Yeah?”

“T squared”

“Hey no fair,” Lainie laughed. “You didn’t say we were starting right now. But anyway Dawn, I’m thankful for having a friend like you, who sticks with me even when I’m in a grouchy mood.”

See that wasn’t so hard Dawn said, and I’m thankful for a friend like you too. Now let’s speed up before we freeze our, you know what off.”

The two girls continued walking, laughing and talking the entire way.



This was written originally for Thankful Thursday but I rewrote it for Girl Talk Magazine

What a Girl Wants to Know - Public Speaking

Help for the dreaded oral presentation

1. Know your material – it’s okay to refer to notes or cue cards but know your speech well enough that you’re able to present it without stumbling.

2. Practice, Practice, Practice – The mirror can be your best friend when practicing. Read your speech out loud, practice your gestures, pauses and inflections.

3. Make eye contact – Don’t look down at your notes the entire time. Look around make eye contact with the people you’re presenting to.

4. Engage your audience – ask a rethorical question once in a while. It will get the audience actively involved in what you’re talking about.

5. Be enthusiastic– Let your audience know that you’re passionate about what you’re presenting to them.

Publisher's Note

Dear Young Lady,

Happy New Year! I know this issue usually comes out in December but better late than never right?

I hope that the beginning of this New Year finds you in the best of health and with fond thoughts of God’s many blessings in your life.

January will be almost over by the time you receive this issue and we are now only two issues away from Girl Talk’s tenth anniversary. I still cannot believe how quickly time flies. As of June 2010 I would have been publishing GT for almost a third of my life (there I go giving you an idea of my age). As the old saying goes, all good things must come to an end… or does it?

After June of this year GT will be going on hiatus for a yet to be determined length of time, maybe six months, maybe a year, maybe longer… all in the will of God but we’ll talk more about that over the next two issues.

Hope this year is a great one for you and that you see God bring your dreams and goals to pass as you work towards them. As always young ladies know that above all things you are special and that your heavenly father did not make a mistake when He made you.

God bless,
Bernadine J. McIntosh
Founder/Publisher

Although GT will be going on hiatus I will still be blogging although I'm considering starting a new blog under a different name...